Thursday, June 24, 2004
Just stopping by cos I'm really bored. Bored out of my mind. I think I'm losing it due to the intense boredom.
Yes, I know, I'm exaggerating. But it's not really very funny to sit in front of a computer screen while all flushed red. It's gotten unbearably warm where I'm sitting. You would do well to note that I said "where I'm sitting".
You know, when my mind is utterly bored, and my consciousness also registers itself under the same label, my brain starts to kick into overdrive. And I guess reading semi-lemony stuff right before that didn't help. Cos when my mind goes into hyperdrive, it takes a random topic and starts going off into tangents with it. It sucks right now. Really sucks.
Why? Cos right now my mind decided that it needed some fun and then it threw in some new things. Things like an extra personality into my already messed up head. And as for who the personality belonged to, it's my hormones, if you have to know. -___-;;;
And right now they're chattering incessantly. I guess when I'm bored out of my mind, I really go "out of my mind". No I'm not really crazy. Just possibly deluded. And not to mention incredibly bored.
But what's so disturbing about little voices doing flip-flops in my head for fun? I mean, I oughta be used to it since I tango with a permanent resident in my mind everyday anyway. But ya see, the new, and hopefully temporary, voices are going on and on about boys. Ugh. Not that I'm personally adverse against the subject, but it's somewhat, ok VERY, disturbing to have little voices rattling on like sex-crazed nymphomaniacs.
Eeek. I let that slip. Probably a bad idea. Oh wtf, I'm sick and tired of lying in real life. For once I'll speak my mind. Although I'm sure its probably a mistake. Especially since this blog is read by people who actually know me in real life. The horror. Oh what the hell. They can think what they want. It doesn't stop me anyway.
But anyway, back on topic. I just realised I'm raving. Or ranting. Or whatever it is that lunatics do when they start babbling uncontrollably. >.<
But ANYWAY. Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. So yeah, my mind was going into hysterics, and there I was, sitting on my chair and sweating like hell even though it wasn't THAT warm in the house and the fan was aimed right at me. The reason for my discomfort is apparent. I didn't NEED to know that I had nymphomaniacal voices in my head. Although it's probably just me. The horror. I mean, isn't it kinda horrifying to find out that deep down you're possibly a sex-obsessed freak? Ugh. >.<
I'm going to regret putting all those stuff up there down. Hopefully no one believes me. I mean, who would? The people who know me in real life won't be able to bring themselves to believe it. Even if they do, it would still be a colossal shock. Maybe not colossal, but still fairly considerable. I mean, I acted slightly like a prude in school. Well unless someone was willing to talk about sex freely with me, then I'll also reply freely. But since my close friends are all such prudish people, I act like a prude too. Hypocritical I admit, but it's a mask I put on automatically to fit in. I can easily lower myself to other people's standards, or lift them up and pretend to know what I'm doing. It doesn't always work perfectly, but it's good enough to get me by. I still remember how I fitted like a hand into a glove within the first week of me transferring into a new class (in the same school). Of course after they got to know me, it sorta wore off. Bah I dun wanna think about that or else I'll start griping about it again. And I DID promise Chengwei that I would try to be happy. So yeah. :D
Alright, I sorta cooled off. Focusing on typing this kinda forced out the little voices. I guess it's really true that an idle mind is evil's breeding ground. It happened more than once, like the time when I was bored, and then I started having vaguely murderous thoughts about the people around me. Yeah I know I need to chill. But sometimes, when exploding is not an alternative, imagining horribly graphic deaths for the people you want to explode at is an excellent way to let off steam. Well, it is for me anyway. Yeah I know I'm sick. :D It's fun though. Haha.
It just occured to me that I'm a lot of "D"s. You don't understand? Well here's a list.
-Deluded
-Distressed
-Depressing
-Disappointing
-Devilish (ask Kent, he knows)
-Deprived (doh, I'm a teen with raging hormones, BLAME THE HORMONES!! *cough*)
-Depraved (Uh yeah...whips and chains...knives too... *stares blankly into space*)
Etc etc. I'm too tired to think of more adjectives. And too lazy. Hehe. And don't mind the insane-seeming ramblings. I've calmed down enough right now to think somewhat coherently now. I guess it's just that I'm tired. Maybe I should sign on to MSN, talk to LM, or maybe even Kanaii. But Kanaii's on vacation...I think it was to Japan. Hmm. If she was in Japan I wonder if she could get hold of internet access? I suppose she could. After all, she IS japanese, she grew up there, has a house there. It's only in recent years that she went overseas for further education. So hmm........
Alright then, maybe I should get some sleep. Going to watch the Portugal vs England match later on at 2.35am with my dad. Spend some quality time together for once. Haha.
Viva la England!! :P
]
Yes, I know, I'm exaggerating. But it's not really very funny to sit in front of a computer screen while all flushed red. It's gotten unbearably warm where I'm sitting. You would do well to note that I said "where I'm sitting".
You know, when my mind is utterly bored, and my consciousness also registers itself under the same label, my brain starts to kick into overdrive. And I guess reading semi-lemony stuff right before that didn't help. Cos when my mind goes into hyperdrive, it takes a random topic and starts going off into tangents with it. It sucks right now. Really sucks.
Why? Cos right now my mind decided that it needed some fun and then it threw in some new things. Things like an extra personality into my already messed up head. And as for who the personality belonged to, it's my hormones, if you have to know. -___-;;;
And right now they're chattering incessantly. I guess when I'm bored out of my mind, I really go "out of my mind". No I'm not really crazy. Just possibly deluded. And not to mention incredibly bored.
But what's so disturbing about little voices doing flip-flops in my head for fun? I mean, I oughta be used to it since I tango with a permanent resident in my mind everyday anyway. But ya see, the new, and hopefully temporary, voices are going on and on about boys. Ugh. Not that I'm personally adverse against the subject, but it's somewhat, ok VERY, disturbing to have little voices rattling on like sex-crazed nymphomaniacs.
Eeek. I let that slip. Probably a bad idea. Oh wtf, I'm sick and tired of lying in real life. For once I'll speak my mind. Although I'm sure its probably a mistake. Especially since this blog is read by people who actually know me in real life. The horror. Oh what the hell. They can think what they want. It doesn't stop me anyway.
But anyway, back on topic. I just realised I'm raving. Or ranting. Or whatever it is that lunatics do when they start babbling uncontrollably. >.<
But ANYWAY. Ahem. Where was I? Oh right. So yeah, my mind was going into hysterics, and there I was, sitting on my chair and sweating like hell even though it wasn't THAT warm in the house and the fan was aimed right at me. The reason for my discomfort is apparent. I didn't NEED to know that I had nymphomaniacal voices in my head. Although it's probably just me. The horror. I mean, isn't it kinda horrifying to find out that deep down you're possibly a sex-obsessed freak? Ugh. >.<
I'm going to regret putting all those stuff up there down. Hopefully no one believes me. I mean, who would? The people who know me in real life won't be able to bring themselves to believe it. Even if they do, it would still be a colossal shock. Maybe not colossal, but still fairly considerable. I mean, I acted slightly like a prude in school. Well unless someone was willing to talk about sex freely with me, then I'll also reply freely. But since my close friends are all such prudish people, I act like a prude too. Hypocritical I admit, but it's a mask I put on automatically to fit in. I can easily lower myself to other people's standards, or lift them up and pretend to know what I'm doing. It doesn't always work perfectly, but it's good enough to get me by. I still remember how I fitted like a hand into a glove within the first week of me transferring into a new class (in the same school). Of course after they got to know me, it sorta wore off. Bah I dun wanna think about that or else I'll start griping about it again. And I DID promise Chengwei that I would try to be happy. So yeah. :D
Alright, I sorta cooled off. Focusing on typing this kinda forced out the little voices. I guess it's really true that an idle mind is evil's breeding ground. It happened more than once, like the time when I was bored, and then I started having vaguely murderous thoughts about the people around me. Yeah I know I need to chill. But sometimes, when exploding is not an alternative, imagining horribly graphic deaths for the people you want to explode at is an excellent way to let off steam. Well, it is for me anyway. Yeah I know I'm sick. :D It's fun though. Haha.
It just occured to me that I'm a lot of "D"s. You don't understand? Well here's a list.
-Deluded
-Distressed
-Depressing
-Disappointing
-Devilish (ask Kent, he knows)
-Deprived (doh, I'm a teen with raging hormones, BLAME THE HORMONES!! *cough*)
-Depraved (Uh yeah...whips and chains...knives too... *stares blankly into space*)
Etc etc. I'm too tired to think of more adjectives. And too lazy. Hehe. And don't mind the insane-seeming ramblings. I've calmed down enough right now to think somewhat coherently now. I guess it's just that I'm tired. Maybe I should sign on to MSN, talk to LM, or maybe even Kanaii. But Kanaii's on vacation...I think it was to Japan. Hmm. If she was in Japan I wonder if she could get hold of internet access? I suppose she could. After all, she IS japanese, she grew up there, has a house there. It's only in recent years that she went overseas for further education. So hmm........
Alright then, maybe I should get some sleep. Going to watch the Portugal vs England match later on at 2.35am with my dad. Spend some quality time together for once. Haha.
Viva la England!! :P
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