Saturday, June 05, 2004
Oooh yay. My life sucks. Why?
Arrival of the matriarch. The ancient horror. The relic of doom.
My grandmother.
Lol. I think I'm being too dramatic, but hey its fun. But gone are the days where my silence and peace reigned supreme in the house. Instead I'll be nagged to hell and back. Oh god.
Oh well. I guess I'll live. But still..ugh..I hate being disturbed! Invasion of the hulking relatives! AHHH!! Bah.
It's enough to make me go hide in my room. And you know how attached I am to my computer. To make me flee to my room, you have to be 1)My dad, 2)My granny, 3)My annoying relatives. Lol.
Ah well. Some must be wondering why my last post was somewhat...disturbed. What an understatement that is. And it's quite obvious there that I'm evidently NOT suicidal. More like homicidal...^___^;;;;
But really. Sometimes I have strange dreams. Some are the standard fluffy-psycho crackpot dreams, like those involving pink giraffes and purple sheep. ^_^
Then there's the nightmares. The one where I keep running. And the one where I keep falling. The running one is more common though.
Of course, that's the severely-impossible kind of dream. I mean, very slashy. And given my distaste for general yaoi and yuri-ness, that is just plain freaky. Of course the weirder ones are the inter-species kind...O_o;;;;
Then there are the more real-life dreams. As in, me being me in those dreams. No more being stuck in weird character scenarios in even weirder dreams. I'm me. Yay. Sometimes that sucks even more. Lol. But it's true. I dreamed about maths lessons once. Yeah I know...o_o;;;;
But the 2nd half of the maths-lesson dream was...disturbing. It took the psychotic turn my mind loves to conjure up. I mean, there isn't any glass in the classroom! Well unless you count the window panes, but that doesn't really matter. What I'm more interested in is how the heck I punched a mirror in the middle of maths lesson in front of my classmates, when there is evidently no mirror in the classroom. Lol. But I really really loved the maniacal grin/smirk on my face in that dream. Hehe. I'm weird.
I think I might be obsessed with the concept of blood and pain. Hmm. Cos I keep dreaming about it. In different ways of course. Usually it's my own blood that I dream of, although sometimes its ME drawing blood from others. Vivid imaginations come into play when I imagine stabbing some--anyone--somewhere. Usually in the belly. My mind gives me every excruciating detail, plus full surround-sound. Sometimes I think they overdo it, but heck, great special effects they got there. Lol.
I like to think I'm insane. It's easier to say that I'm insane, and then blame all my weird fantasies and hallucinations on it. But I wouldn't bank too much on that.
Maybe I'm just infected. Infected with the subterreanean undercurrents present in modern pop culture. You know, media, movies, tv, ads, etc etc. Violence reigns. Plus I'm habitually a gothic-depressional case. I think it might have been cultivated for poetic purposes. Yes I know, as strange as it sounds, I'm just a normal kid. With a lot of different alteregos to draw on. I'm one person at school, another in front of my relatives, and a totally different indivdual when I'm alone. Actually my real self can be seen from reading this blog. If you pay close enough attention you can better understand what kind of a person I am.
But it doesn't matter does it? The ones who matter, they won't understand. Here I am, pouring out my thoughts to an uncaring world. But its a great way to practise my writing, and I get to better understand myself by considering the way I process information and what-not. I think I'm acting like an overzealous academic. I mean, look at some of my posts, I always tend to reason things out in scientific, logical ways. Most of the time anyway. My mind works strangely. But so does everyone else's...I think. Lol.
But I guess it's time to stop here. Frankly, it's because I'm running out of things to type/say. :P Well, this is Esty/Sephi/Krista, signing off.
Watch this spot! ^__~
]
Arrival of the matriarch. The ancient horror. The relic of doom.
My grandmother.
Lol. I think I'm being too dramatic, but hey its fun. But gone are the days where my silence and peace reigned supreme in the house. Instead I'll be nagged to hell and back. Oh god.
Oh well. I guess I'll live. But still..ugh..I hate being disturbed! Invasion of the hulking relatives! AHHH!! Bah.
It's enough to make me go hide in my room. And you know how attached I am to my computer. To make me flee to my room, you have to be 1)My dad, 2)My granny, 3)My annoying relatives. Lol.
Ah well. Some must be wondering why my last post was somewhat...disturbed. What an understatement that is. And it's quite obvious there that I'm evidently NOT suicidal. More like homicidal...^___^;;;;
But really. Sometimes I have strange dreams. Some are the standard fluffy-psycho crackpot dreams, like those involving pink giraffes and purple sheep. ^_^
Then there's the nightmares. The one where I keep running. And the one where I keep falling. The running one is more common though.
Of course, that's the severely-impossible kind of dream. I mean, very slashy. And given my distaste for general yaoi and yuri-ness, that is just plain freaky. Of course the weirder ones are the inter-species kind...O_o;;;;
Then there are the more real-life dreams. As in, me being me in those dreams. No more being stuck in weird character scenarios in even weirder dreams. I'm me. Yay. Sometimes that sucks even more. Lol. But it's true. I dreamed about maths lessons once. Yeah I know...o_o;;;;
But the 2nd half of the maths-lesson dream was...disturbing. It took the psychotic turn my mind loves to conjure up. I mean, there isn't any glass in the classroom! Well unless you count the window panes, but that doesn't really matter. What I'm more interested in is how the heck I punched a mirror in the middle of maths lesson in front of my classmates, when there is evidently no mirror in the classroom. Lol. But I really really loved the maniacal grin/smirk on my face in that dream. Hehe. I'm weird.
I think I might be obsessed with the concept of blood and pain. Hmm. Cos I keep dreaming about it. In different ways of course. Usually it's my own blood that I dream of, although sometimes its ME drawing blood from others. Vivid imaginations come into play when I imagine stabbing some--anyone--somewhere. Usually in the belly. My mind gives me every excruciating detail, plus full surround-sound. Sometimes I think they overdo it, but heck, great special effects they got there. Lol.
I like to think I'm insane. It's easier to say that I'm insane, and then blame all my weird fantasies and hallucinations on it. But I wouldn't bank too much on that.
Maybe I'm just infected. Infected with the subterreanean undercurrents present in modern pop culture. You know, media, movies, tv, ads, etc etc. Violence reigns. Plus I'm habitually a gothic-depressional case. I think it might have been cultivated for poetic purposes. Yes I know, as strange as it sounds, I'm just a normal kid. With a lot of different alteregos to draw on. I'm one person at school, another in front of my relatives, and a totally different indivdual when I'm alone. Actually my real self can be seen from reading this blog. If you pay close enough attention you can better understand what kind of a person I am.
But it doesn't matter does it? The ones who matter, they won't understand. Here I am, pouring out my thoughts to an uncaring world. But its a great way to practise my writing, and I get to better understand myself by considering the way I process information and what-not. I think I'm acting like an overzealous academic. I mean, look at some of my posts, I always tend to reason things out in scientific, logical ways. Most of the time anyway. My mind works strangely. But so does everyone else's...I think. Lol.
But I guess it's time to stop here. Frankly, it's because I'm running out of things to type/say. :P Well, this is Esty/Sephi/Krista, signing off.
Watch this spot! ^__~
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