Friday, August 06, 2004
Hehe.
...what am I "hehe"ing about? Hmm no idea, just came out randomly.
Today's National Day celebrations in school was DAMN LAME. Why do I say that? Well, for one thing, parade was boring, the performances in the hall were boring, the mass singing in the hall at the end was mildly interesting, but since I wasn't inside the hall, it sucked. -_______-
First thing, the choir singing was...unhearable? As in, we can't hear them. I'm not sure if the voices we heard were from the recording on the tape or its the real time voices. But the one where this dude comes out with the microphone pretending to sing, well, I knew it at once that he wasn't really singing, just lipsynching. How would I know?
Well, it comes from observing BoA too much during the videos of her performances, so I can easily tell if someone's lipsynching after some watching. BoA's hard to catch though, she once lipsynched My Prayer so perfectly that I could barely notice that she wasn't singing live. The only giveaway: I had already memorized how the cd version sounds like, and so.....^___^
But back to the point, I noticed how the guy, when he was "singing" the long notes, he pulled the mic too far away from his mouth. That's the most obvious giveaway. Another would be that he doesn't sound nervous AT ALL, simply because since he isn't actually singing, obviously his "voice" doesn't sound nervous! Doh...
And then, at the end of the whole thing, with the mass singing. The uniform groups were funny. But I simply smiled along, before going to a corner and brooding quietly even as the hall rocked with hearty singing. It probably didn't help that the faint buzzing sensation at the back of my head made me slightly dizzy. And also because I suddenly felt isolated amongst the crowd.
Strange isn't it? How my melancholy behaviour strikes at the times when I'm surrounded by a lot of people. In fact, sometimes I can be right in the middle of a sea of people, and suddenly I'll feel all alone. Lost. Like I didn't belong. Like...
That old familiar feeling. To run and hide in a dark corner. To sit in a place where I could see the sky. To feel the gentle breeze touch my cheeks. To silently cry deep inside my heart. That feeling of inadequacy...
I was never ever good enough. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, in my eyes, I'm never good enough.
I love to look at the sky, don't you know? To gaze on that vast expanse, feeling small. But feeling small isn't the point. I felt accepted. I was a part of nature. To look on the sky, sometimes I allow the feeling to wash over me, the peace the sky gave me winding me in a comforting embrace.
I love the sky, the stars. For they are always there. They won't ever leave, no matter where I am. No matter how long I live, the sky will always be there above me, reflecting my joys, my sorrow. I can lose myself in my silent communion with the vast skies, letting my mind reach out, fly free.
I'm a dreamer, aren't I? An unrealistic dreamer...that's what most of you must think. But you're wrong. I see only too well the real world. It's because of all the filth and corruption I see around me that I've pretty much given up faith on mankind. We are a species of degenerate creatures that is going to destroy the very earth we live in.
So maybe I am a dreamer. Simply because I don't want to live in this world. I rather live in the world I weave from my dreams. I rather let my mind reach out, to touch the endless sky, to go beyond the confines.
To be free.
If I sometimes seem cynical, its simply because I hold a deep contempt for life as it is. Why don't I change it? Simply put, why should I? We're gonna die anyway. Let some other person with heroic dreams take up that cause. I wish them well if they try.
Even if I know it will come to no end.
Anyway, I'll stop here.
Peace all.
]
...what am I "hehe"ing about? Hmm no idea, just came out randomly.
Today's National Day celebrations in school was DAMN LAME. Why do I say that? Well, for one thing, parade was boring, the performances in the hall were boring, the mass singing in the hall at the end was mildly interesting, but since I wasn't inside the hall, it sucked. -_______-
First thing, the choir singing was...unhearable? As in, we can't hear them. I'm not sure if the voices we heard were from the recording on the tape or its the real time voices. But the one where this dude comes out with the microphone pretending to sing, well, I knew it at once that he wasn't really singing, just lipsynching. How would I know?
Well, it comes from observing BoA too much during the videos of her performances, so I can easily tell if someone's lipsynching after some watching. BoA's hard to catch though, she once lipsynched My Prayer so perfectly that I could barely notice that she wasn't singing live. The only giveaway: I had already memorized how the cd version sounds like, and so.....^___^
But back to the point, I noticed how the guy, when he was "singing" the long notes, he pulled the mic too far away from his mouth. That's the most obvious giveaway. Another would be that he doesn't sound nervous AT ALL, simply because since he isn't actually singing, obviously his "voice" doesn't sound nervous! Doh...
And then, at the end of the whole thing, with the mass singing. The uniform groups were funny. But I simply smiled along, before going to a corner and brooding quietly even as the hall rocked with hearty singing. It probably didn't help that the faint buzzing sensation at the back of my head made me slightly dizzy. And also because I suddenly felt isolated amongst the crowd.
Strange isn't it? How my melancholy behaviour strikes at the times when I'm surrounded by a lot of people. In fact, sometimes I can be right in the middle of a sea of people, and suddenly I'll feel all alone. Lost. Like I didn't belong. Like...
That old familiar feeling. To run and hide in a dark corner. To sit in a place where I could see the sky. To feel the gentle breeze touch my cheeks. To silently cry deep inside my heart. That feeling of inadequacy...
I was never ever good enough. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, in my eyes, I'm never good enough.
I love to look at the sky, don't you know? To gaze on that vast expanse, feeling small. But feeling small isn't the point. I felt accepted. I was a part of nature. To look on the sky, sometimes I allow the feeling to wash over me, the peace the sky gave me winding me in a comforting embrace.
I love the sky, the stars. For they are always there. They won't ever leave, no matter where I am. No matter how long I live, the sky will always be there above me, reflecting my joys, my sorrow. I can lose myself in my silent communion with the vast skies, letting my mind reach out, fly free.
I'm a dreamer, aren't I? An unrealistic dreamer...that's what most of you must think. But you're wrong. I see only too well the real world. It's because of all the filth and corruption I see around me that I've pretty much given up faith on mankind. We are a species of degenerate creatures that is going to destroy the very earth we live in.
So maybe I am a dreamer. Simply because I don't want to live in this world. I rather live in the world I weave from my dreams. I rather let my mind reach out, to touch the endless sky, to go beyond the confines.
To be free.
If I sometimes seem cynical, its simply because I hold a deep contempt for life as it is. Why don't I change it? Simply put, why should I? We're gonna die anyway. Let some other person with heroic dreams take up that cause. I wish them well if they try.
Even if I know it will come to no end.
Anyway, I'll stop here.
Peace all.
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