Thursday, August 25, 2005
I'm very happy today!
Well, sort of.
It's kind of like this. I had a very intellectual day at school.
What intellectual, you would ask. Well, it's sort of like being insightful and actually learning something while communicating ideas and new concepts about the subject matter.
For once, I felt like a real JC student. Not like a lost little slacker with no purpose in life. I felt...involved.
For someone with low self esteem like me, feeling involved is very therapeutic. Because, knowing me, I feel left out very easily. So being involved actively in something makes me feel useful and less unmotivated.
Also, I like learning. Contrary to popular belief, my slacker-ishness isn't an offshoot of my not wanting to learn. I enjoy learning about new things. It's studying that bores me. Unfortunately the system requires that we study, and I'm feeling rather stifled by the whole process.
I guess that's what they meant when they said that liberal education results in wastage of resources. Inevitably, some people will fall through the cracks. With technical education, efficiency is achieved; but the people are less prepared for unfamiliar situations.
Is it possible to reconcile the two systems? For if we can achieve the tuning of the mind while reducing as much as possible the wastage of human resources, we might just have a near-perfect education system.
Like that will ever happen.
Sorry, the cynic just woke up. You know how cynical people are. Always ready to put down any idea.
Great, I just realised how scholarish (aka boring) my earlier discourse was. I humbly apologise for causing any inconvenience....
....you didn't actually believe me did you? :P
The apology I mean. Why should I be apologising for me boring people on my blog. See, it's MY blog. I write to satisfy my own urge to write. Which, sadly, remains constantly unsatisfied. But that's a problem we shall discuss another time.
Do I sound self-centered or egocentric? I think I probably do. It's been a characteristic of mine since I was very young. Well, relatively young. My inflated ego stems from the fact that I was used to easy success at a young age. Of course, that diminished when I grew up, but that's beside the point. My ego is still sizeable, but I have weak self-esteem....
Isn't that odd?
It's a bit contradictory when you think about it. How can a large ego co-exist with low self-esteem? That's impossible right?
Actually, the way it works for me probably is like this. I have a very high opinion of myself. If I didn't know better, I would think that the world revolves around me. Lol.
Unfortunately, I am also easily deflated, which means that I think that people don't care about me. So in a sense, I feel injustice that nobody recognises me for my talent (the ego), and I'm greatly depressed by that fact, which might actually be the cause of my low self-esteem.
Great, now I'm resorting to psycho-analysing myself. What the heck am I doing???
Doing what I always do in the shower, it seems. I think a lot when I'm in the shower. I like thinking in the shower actually. It's easier to focus and rationalise when I'm in there.
I just burped and I caught a distinct taste of chicken in my breath. Hmm. Must be the fact that I had chicken chop for lunch earlier.
Am I blogging randomly? Yes. Do I care if I'm doing nothing productive at the moment? No.
^________________^
Alright the smiley was unnecessary. Heh.
K k, what am I doing at the moment?
I'm at the WoM boards. I'm on Zeal. And I'm here. That's about it.
And that's multi-tasking for you.
Ok now I'm at a loss for words. I have...gasp...nothing to say! The horror!
Well...if all goes to naught...I still have BoA to rant about... *evil smile creeps up*
*hears readers exclaim: NOT AGAIN!!!!!*
Ok, since I'm feeling so saintly today (haha some saint I am), I shall spare all and sundry from my obsessive worship session of BoA. Aren't you grateful? XD
*hears a vast sigh of relief, followed by mutinous mutters*
Heh. My ego is a vast open sore. Bwahhaha.
Right, now that I have nothing more to discuss, I shall bow out politely.
*bows and lights fade out*
]
Well, sort of.
It's kind of like this. I had a very intellectual day at school.
What intellectual, you would ask. Well, it's sort of like being insightful and actually learning something while communicating ideas and new concepts about the subject matter.
For once, I felt like a real JC student. Not like a lost little slacker with no purpose in life. I felt...involved.
For someone with low self esteem like me, feeling involved is very therapeutic. Because, knowing me, I feel left out very easily. So being involved actively in something makes me feel useful and less unmotivated.
Also, I like learning. Contrary to popular belief, my slacker-ishness isn't an offshoot of my not wanting to learn. I enjoy learning about new things. It's studying that bores me. Unfortunately the system requires that we study, and I'm feeling rather stifled by the whole process.
I guess that's what they meant when they said that liberal education results in wastage of resources. Inevitably, some people will fall through the cracks. With technical education, efficiency is achieved; but the people are less prepared for unfamiliar situations.
Is it possible to reconcile the two systems? For if we can achieve the tuning of the mind while reducing as much as possible the wastage of human resources, we might just have a near-perfect education system.
Like that will ever happen.
Sorry, the cynic just woke up. You know how cynical people are. Always ready to put down any idea.
Great, I just realised how scholarish (aka boring) my earlier discourse was. I humbly apologise for causing any inconvenience....
....you didn't actually believe me did you? :P
The apology I mean. Why should I be apologising for me boring people on my blog. See, it's MY blog. I write to satisfy my own urge to write. Which, sadly, remains constantly unsatisfied. But that's a problem we shall discuss another time.
Do I sound self-centered or egocentric? I think I probably do. It's been a characteristic of mine since I was very young. Well, relatively young. My inflated ego stems from the fact that I was used to easy success at a young age. Of course, that diminished when I grew up, but that's beside the point. My ego is still sizeable, but I have weak self-esteem....
Isn't that odd?
It's a bit contradictory when you think about it. How can a large ego co-exist with low self-esteem? That's impossible right?
Actually, the way it works for me probably is like this. I have a very high opinion of myself. If I didn't know better, I would think that the world revolves around me. Lol.
Unfortunately, I am also easily deflated, which means that I think that people don't care about me. So in a sense, I feel injustice that nobody recognises me for my talent (the ego), and I'm greatly depressed by that fact, which might actually be the cause of my low self-esteem.
Great, now I'm resorting to psycho-analysing myself. What the heck am I doing???
Doing what I always do in the shower, it seems. I think a lot when I'm in the shower. I like thinking in the shower actually. It's easier to focus and rationalise when I'm in there.
I just burped and I caught a distinct taste of chicken in my breath. Hmm. Must be the fact that I had chicken chop for lunch earlier.
Am I blogging randomly? Yes. Do I care if I'm doing nothing productive at the moment? No.
^________________^
Alright the smiley was unnecessary. Heh.
K k, what am I doing at the moment?
I'm at the WoM boards. I'm on Zeal. And I'm here. That's about it.
And that's multi-tasking for you.
Ok now I'm at a loss for words. I have...gasp...nothing to say! The horror!
Well...if all goes to naught...I still have BoA to rant about... *evil smile creeps up*
*hears readers exclaim: NOT AGAIN!!!!!*
Ok, since I'm feeling so saintly today (haha some saint I am), I shall spare all and sundry from my obsessive worship session of BoA. Aren't you grateful? XD
*hears a vast sigh of relief, followed by mutinous mutters*
Heh. My ego is a vast open sore. Bwahhaha.
Right, now that I have nothing more to discuss, I shall bow out politely.
*bows and lights fade out*
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