Aeternus, Eternus

God.

Listening to BoA's Everlasting now. The full version is finally out. And the music video too.

It has a strangely calming effect on my senses.

Just watching BoA gives me some peace at least.

Even though the PV isn't exactly bright and happy. Just seeing her face, looking into her eyes, makes me somewhat less in pain.

Heck, just visualising her eyes in the PV relaxes me.

And people wonder why I stick to BoA.

Watching her makes me forget. It releases me from my worries, fears, and my inadequacy. For a short while, I'm alive again. And I'm not hurting inside.

Strange how BoA has such an amazing effect on me. She eases my fears and pains. I let myself get lost in her.

It's good to indulge in self-denial now and then.

Especially when BoA is involved.

You gotta admit, watching BoA for entertainment and relaxation is better than seeing me go and do drugs or something. Anything to forget. Anything to be rid of my fears, dreams, and my painful realities.

Sometimes I worry myself.

But honestly, do you think I'm sane?

If you don't, well, you're an idiot you know.

Despite everything indicating otherwise, I'm perfectly fine. A little off my rocker at times, but perfectly fine nevertheless.

But then again, insanity is rarely total.

Go figure out what that means. And have fun about it.

I know perfectly well what I'm writing and doing. It's strange.

You'll never know whether I really mean what I'm saying, do you?

It's a twisted little world in here.

Having fun yet?

I know I am.

And I'm perfectly comfortable with your pain too.

Enjoy.