Friday, July 14, 2006
I was very startled to find myself having Shizuru-thought moments today.
You know, the whole dangerous possessiveness slash teetering insanity part.
Which translates to: a very very bad situation indeed.
Especially considering what caused it.
Wanted: Some psychatric consultation necessary. No moneyback guarantee for trauma inflicted during therapy.
Never mind, I'm doomed.
Talk about Fatal Attraction. Never mind that.
Ignore the above, you never saw it, and it doesn't register. It is all an illusion.
I'm beginning to see myself as a broody, angsty, teenage brat. How wonderful. How illustrous. How terribly flattering.
It's so cold. But I won't stop being this way, because physically and emotionally, it was safe ground. Damn.
Why do you keep running away?
Shit. I'll leave now. Go somewhere quiet where they can't find me. Go somewhere where I can't find myself.
She runs again, afraid of her own shadow, afraid to stop, afraid of letting the walls fall away. She runs, fear and desire driving her, a vain hope stoking her direction. She runs relentlessly, wind, rain or shine. She runs, heedlessly, selfishly. Even when she stops, she never truly does, like a wolf straining on a leash, ready to run off, yet not quite able to. She ran like the wind, with the wind, bornt aloft by pride and despair. Hope lingers not long in her, for she runs away from it like the tides rushing away into the sea. She runs, for running's sake, the motion a habit, a familiar routine, and she cannot stop now...
Fool, that girl. She will be the death of us all. Can she not see that the growing storm is carrying the shattered pieces of the mirror away? With a great rustling sound they are gathered, then scattered, like dust on the wind. If she does not stop to pick up the pieces, there will be nothing left. Not of us, nor of her? Is she trying to destroy us all?
Does onee-san have to stop to gather the broken shards? If they are already broken and useless, why should she stop and hurt herself more by picking them up? She can always buy a new mirror and put a new image in, can't she?
It was never that simple to begin with. Can she still cast a reflection? I don't think she even wants to see a mirror. She broke every single one in the cave. And continues to break them. No, she can't see a reflection now, because she doesn't want to cast one. She holds the keys in her hands though. To past, present, and future, and we cannot disobey her.
And in the end, we are just going to let her go, let her drown, let her run herself into the ground. Like we did the last time.
]
You know, the whole dangerous possessiveness slash teetering insanity part.
Which translates to: a very very bad situation indeed.
Especially considering what caused it.
Wanted: Some psychatric consultation necessary. No moneyback guarantee for trauma inflicted during therapy.
Never mind, I'm doomed.
Talk about Fatal Attraction. Never mind that.
Ignore the above, you never saw it, and it doesn't register. It is all an illusion.
I'm beginning to see myself as a broody, angsty, teenage brat. How wonderful. How illustrous. How terribly flattering.
It's so cold. But I won't stop being this way, because physically and emotionally, it was safe ground. Damn.
Why do you keep running away?
Shit. I'll leave now. Go somewhere quiet where they can't find me. Go somewhere where I can't find myself.
She runs again, afraid of her own shadow, afraid to stop, afraid of letting the walls fall away. She runs, fear and desire driving her, a vain hope stoking her direction. She runs relentlessly, wind, rain or shine. She runs, heedlessly, selfishly. Even when she stops, she never truly does, like a wolf straining on a leash, ready to run off, yet not quite able to. She ran like the wind, with the wind, bornt aloft by pride and despair. Hope lingers not long in her, for she runs away from it like the tides rushing away into the sea. She runs, for running's sake, the motion a habit, a familiar routine, and she cannot stop now...
Fool, that girl. She will be the death of us all. Can she not see that the growing storm is carrying the shattered pieces of the mirror away? With a great rustling sound they are gathered, then scattered, like dust on the wind. If she does not stop to pick up the pieces, there will be nothing left. Not of us, nor of her? Is she trying to destroy us all?
Does onee-san have to stop to gather the broken shards? If they are already broken and useless, why should she stop and hurt herself more by picking them up? She can always buy a new mirror and put a new image in, can't she?
It was never that simple to begin with. Can she still cast a reflection? I don't think she even wants to see a mirror. She broke every single one in the cave. And continues to break them. No, she can't see a reflection now, because she doesn't want to cast one. She holds the keys in her hands though. To past, present, and future, and we cannot disobey her.
And in the end, we are just going to let her go, let her drown, let her run herself into the ground. Like we did the last time.
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