Sunday, September 17, 2006
Man, am I on a Vincent Valentine spiel or what?
Any FFVII fan should understand the reference. If they don't, please eat Cerberus bullet. =P
Still, not half as bishie as Valentine. *shrug* Aw well. Not male either, but who cares?
Besides, I do have an annoying guest named Chaos in my head, just like the V-man.
Who are you calling annoying, brat?
Uh oh, here comes the Chaos-dude. ^^
Hmpf. I can't ever leave you alone for a moment, can I?
Why, whatever woould you say that? I've been a good girl. *halo*
Yeah like that cheap tin foil can fool me. *plucks halo*
Fine whatever. Do as you please.
Isn't that what I always do?
And so you do. Somehow I'm strangely unbothered by that.
By the way, I saw that little exercise in self-flagellation...again.
Oh you did? I wasn't really planning on hiding it this time.
I noticed. As if sadomachoism isn't enough, now you're an exhibitionist too?
Gee, you only figured it out now?
Oh, right. Almost forgot that part.
Getting senile in your old age, aren't you, Chaos?
Very funny dear. So what's up with the Vinny-impersonation?
I notice a certain lack of cape around myself, not to mention the decidedly non-goth image I have now. Or the claw, for that matter.
I didn't mean visual impersonation. That whole "sin" spiel is just too familiar.
Ahh, so that's what you were referring to. Nah, just one of those days.
I see.
That all you gotta say, Devil-boy?
Devil-boy?
Gotta mix it up a little sometimes.
...PMS must be making you weirder than usual.
Che. Tell me something I don't know about.
This obsession with your sin...you're really a good person underneath it all, aren't you?
Why, Chaos, how sweet of you to say so! Did you perchance get off the wrong side of bed today?
I'm being serious here.
I know, and it's freaking me out.
That alone makes it worth the trouble. *smirk*
And THAT'S the Chaos I know and love. Was gonna ring in the Paranormal Department for Invisble Friends to check if there was a glitch in the system or something.
You wound me with your observation, milady.
Ha. Ha. What lady?
Regardless, the perceived weight of your "sin" burdens you, does it not? Always wondering, "Will I be hated?" or "This is not right, the way I feel". The one who is hurting the most is you, and only because you cannot stop hurting yourself.
...why does this sound so familiar? *lightbulb* Oh, KnM!
...stop changing the subject. -___-X
Eeep. Continue. .___.
You accuse yourself, call yourself a sinner, abandon hope for your salvation...because you are afraid. Afraid of confronting your own problems, so you wallow in them, willingly debasing yourself.
Well, that sounds familiar...uh, shutting up now.
Afraid of being called a "good" child, a "kind" child, you react cynically, violently, when another calls you as such. You are afraid to let others know the real you, the gentle soul underneath the cavalier exterior. You view it as a weakness. You despise that portion of yourself, yet strive desperately to protect it.
Such a naive child. Isn't that what you're going to say next?
Yes. You are afraid that by being exposed as this good girl, you would lose all excuse for your misbehaviour and irresponsibility. Your "black sheep" image is no more than a smokescreen, an excuse for you to give up fighting for your ambitions, your pride. You...
...are no more than a spineless coward, a weakling who lost the way. Is that not what you wanted to say? Yes, I abandoned my pride, my ambition. I lost my way. I blinded myself willingly. Because I shook in fear at the thought of emerging into the world on my own. So I surround myself with illusions, to cage me in, protect myself, hurt myself some more...is that all you wanted to say?
...Yes. What happened to that fearless child I once watched over? Who had the world at her feet? Who was willing to battle for her dreams? You are not her, are you? Where has she gone then?
Yes, that girl. Once. Fear comes with age, they say. I grew cowardly as I grew older. That courage is dead. Buried somewhere. Can it be revived? I don't know. I don't know anymore.
You are selfish.
Are you only just beginning to realise that?
*chuckles* Of course not. I should have known...
...known what?
You've always been lying, haven't you? Lying to others, but above all, lying to yourself. Your pride is not dead. You still hate to lose, don't you? That's why you don't compete, you coward. You don't try because you're afraid to fail. Spineless coward, living in your own dreams. You're just a sore loser.
Oh very well. Reveal all my deepest, darkest secrets, will you? Che.
You won't live much longer like that, you know that, don't you?
I know. What do you think I wrote Broken Shards for anyway?
...a legacy? No...ghostwriting. You're writing for a life you never lived.
And never will, hopefully.
Of course. I really don't want you to die so soon, you know.
Do you really care for me at all?
Nah, just that if you died, I'd cease to exist. Kinda sucks and all.
You know what Chaos? I do like you too. Despite everything.
And you're an annoying brat. Infuriatingly so. But still adorable in your own bratty way.
Yeah I love you too, you great big oaf. Now go back to sleep.
Do I have to?
Yes, you do. We can talk later.
Talk? That's all we're gonna do?
I still need to get you back for that damnable dream this morning. I didn't need to wake up with that on my mind, you fiend!
Well, since you can't have the real thing, might as well... *shrug*
Get out of here now!
*dodges random flying object* Uh, k. (aside to audience: don't mess with PMS-ing women!)
And he's gone. Good riddance, there.
Hope you enjoyed the show.
*bows*
]
Any FFVII fan should understand the reference. If they don't, please eat Cerberus bullet. =P
Still, not half as bishie as Valentine. *shrug* Aw well. Not male either, but who cares?
Besides, I do have an annoying guest named Chaos in my head, just like the V-man.
Who are you calling annoying, brat?
Uh oh, here comes the Chaos-dude. ^^
Hmpf. I can't ever leave you alone for a moment, can I?
Why, whatever woould you say that? I've been a good girl. *halo*
Yeah like that cheap tin foil can fool me. *plucks halo*
Fine whatever. Do as you please.
Isn't that what I always do?
And so you do. Somehow I'm strangely unbothered by that.
By the way, I saw that little exercise in self-flagellation...again.
Oh you did? I wasn't really planning on hiding it this time.
I noticed. As if sadomachoism isn't enough, now you're an exhibitionist too?
Gee, you only figured it out now?
Oh, right. Almost forgot that part.
Getting senile in your old age, aren't you, Chaos?
Very funny dear. So what's up with the Vinny-impersonation?
I notice a certain lack of cape around myself, not to mention the decidedly non-goth image I have now. Or the claw, for that matter.
I didn't mean visual impersonation. That whole "sin" spiel is just too familiar.
Ahh, so that's what you were referring to. Nah, just one of those days.
I see.
That all you gotta say, Devil-boy?
Devil-boy?
Gotta mix it up a little sometimes.
...PMS must be making you weirder than usual.
Che. Tell me something I don't know about.
This obsession with your sin...you're really a good person underneath it all, aren't you?
Why, Chaos, how sweet of you to say so! Did you perchance get off the wrong side of bed today?
I'm being serious here.
I know, and it's freaking me out.
That alone makes it worth the trouble. *smirk*
And THAT'S the Chaos I know and love. Was gonna ring in the Paranormal Department for Invisble Friends to check if there was a glitch in the system or something.
You wound me with your observation, milady.
Ha. Ha. What lady?
Regardless, the perceived weight of your "sin" burdens you, does it not? Always wondering, "Will I be hated?" or "This is not right, the way I feel". The one who is hurting the most is you, and only because you cannot stop hurting yourself.
...why does this sound so familiar? *lightbulb* Oh, KnM!
...stop changing the subject. -___-X
Eeep. Continue. .___.
You accuse yourself, call yourself a sinner, abandon hope for your salvation...because you are afraid. Afraid of confronting your own problems, so you wallow in them, willingly debasing yourself.
Well, that sounds familiar...uh, shutting up now.
Afraid of being called a "good" child, a "kind" child, you react cynically, violently, when another calls you as such. You are afraid to let others know the real you, the gentle soul underneath the cavalier exterior. You view it as a weakness. You despise that portion of yourself, yet strive desperately to protect it.
Such a naive child. Isn't that what you're going to say next?
Yes. You are afraid that by being exposed as this good girl, you would lose all excuse for your misbehaviour and irresponsibility. Your "black sheep" image is no more than a smokescreen, an excuse for you to give up fighting for your ambitions, your pride. You...
...are no more than a spineless coward, a weakling who lost the way. Is that not what you wanted to say? Yes, I abandoned my pride, my ambition. I lost my way. I blinded myself willingly. Because I shook in fear at the thought of emerging into the world on my own. So I surround myself with illusions, to cage me in, protect myself, hurt myself some more...is that all you wanted to say?
...Yes. What happened to that fearless child I once watched over? Who had the world at her feet? Who was willing to battle for her dreams? You are not her, are you? Where has she gone then?
Yes, that girl. Once. Fear comes with age, they say. I grew cowardly as I grew older. That courage is dead. Buried somewhere. Can it be revived? I don't know. I don't know anymore.
You are selfish.
Are you only just beginning to realise that?
*chuckles* Of course not. I should have known...
...known what?
You've always been lying, haven't you? Lying to others, but above all, lying to yourself. Your pride is not dead. You still hate to lose, don't you? That's why you don't compete, you coward. You don't try because you're afraid to fail. Spineless coward, living in your own dreams. You're just a sore loser.
Oh very well. Reveal all my deepest, darkest secrets, will you? Che.
You won't live much longer like that, you know that, don't you?
I know. What do you think I wrote Broken Shards for anyway?
...a legacy? No...ghostwriting. You're writing for a life you never lived.
And never will, hopefully.
Of course. I really don't want you to die so soon, you know.
Do you really care for me at all?
Nah, just that if you died, I'd cease to exist. Kinda sucks and all.
You know what Chaos? I do like you too. Despite everything.
And you're an annoying brat. Infuriatingly so. But still adorable in your own bratty way.
Yeah I love you too, you great big oaf. Now go back to sleep.
Do I have to?
Yes, you do. We can talk later.
Talk? That's all we're gonna do?
I still need to get you back for that damnable dream this morning. I didn't need to wake up with that on my mind, you fiend!
Well, since you can't have the real thing, might as well... *shrug*
Get out of here now!
*dodges random flying object* Uh, k. (aside to audience: don't mess with PMS-ing women!)
And he's gone. Good riddance, there.
Hope you enjoyed the show.
*bows*
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